Moms need moms so much in that first year.
For advice. For help. For friendship. For solidarity.
But its so much more than that.
The kids get older and we go through so many different stages. When you can't get out of the house because of a screaming toddler or a potty training accident. When you're child is sick from school and you have to drop all plans to take care of her. And you just wanted to get. shit. done. You call your mom friend, and they get it. We need our communities of moms.
When our kids were little, someone told us:
"Little kids, Little problems."
At first, I didn’t get it - thinking how could this 3 year old sleep issue be such a little problem?! It's keeping us awake - it's affecting all of us in our daily routines, and it's really flipping annoying. But I look back now...and I see their point. You turn a corner and they grow out of that stage, or we figure it out and all is good.
But when they get older.... that's when we have to start dealing with friendship fires, bullying and kids internet safety stuff, and then drugs, alcohol, anxiety, depression, sex. To name a few.
Get it? Bigger kids, bigger problems.
It doesn’t get easier. It changes.
And this is the time when many women have gone back to work so that community of moms may not be as available. It can be hard to find that mom to mom time. But sometimes it can be even more necessary. It takes work to keep those friendships going. If only to bounce ideas off of, to rally in support, to listen.
As a coach in the social media world, we're encouraged to share stories about our lives. Show vulnerability. Share our struggles. My kids are 9 & 11 - old enough that I don't think it's my right to share stories about them. It's not that we don't have our struggles. We certainly do. I've got a couple of good kids, but they are far from perfect, and this parenting thing does NOT get easier as they get older. But I believe it is not my place to share stories about our struggles, in the online world.
I am grateful for my community of moms so I can vent and ask for advice. Cause momming is HARD. No matter what stage you're in.